wat did the guy think of his holiday to cumbria, he thought it was a blast :D

lol, good work Mr. A Funny-O-Meter: 7/10

cmon plz more jokes

worlds gayest joke
knock knock
whos there
canoe
canoe who
canoe open the door, its raining

pretty cool joke dude, but like u said g a y Funny-O-Meter: 6/10

There was 3 clowns in an airplane they each had an item one had an apple one had a pear one had a bomb.And 3 little boys in a car the first little boy cries he goes i stuck my hand out the window and he said i got a pear. the second little boy cries he goes i stuck my hand out the window and got a apple. The 3 little boy is laughing he goes i farted and blew up a building!

that joke has been about 3 times (versions of it anyway) so im not bothering to comment on it or rate it

jokes plz

im going 2 legally change my name 2 justin credible

lol Funny-O-Meter: 7/10

y is justen baever so g.a.y......couz he just is

yo mama so stupid because he is

right and dwebb i agree beabar is a g a y l o r d and a geek

my last joke, wat do u call a ginger prostitute, orange pay as you go

why did the chicken cross the road?
get ready for this..... to reach the other side!!! hahahahahahahahaha rofl

Mr. A: u rock man shame ur leaving get on when u can Funny-O-Meter: 7/10
hello: im not even going to bother

Mr. A: u rock man shame ur leaving get on when u can Funny-O-Meter: 7/10
hello: im not even going to bother

hey [fbg]carnage217 i gess hello got a -1 on the funny - o - meter hahaha

lol

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but froze suddenly in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

"Jesus is watching you," the voice bellowed again.

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes," replied the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, "What's your name?"

"Thomas," said the bird.

"That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot would name a parrot Thomas?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the guard-dog Jesus."



There is a truck driver who whenever he sees a lawyer walking down the street, he always swerves to hit him.

One day he sees a priest on the side of the road looking for a ride and so the truck driver picks him up.

While they were driving, the truck driver sees a lawyer walking up the road and swerves to hit him. Then he remembered he had a priest in the car, so he swerved back onto the road, but he heard a loud 'thump' anyway. The driver turns to the priest and says "Please forgive me father." and the priest says, "You didn't hit the lawyer, but that's OK, I got him with the door."


During camouflage training in Louisiana, a soldier disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.

"You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"

"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice and I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches but when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say,

"Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' ---that did it."


There's a blonde, redhead and a brunette and they decided to go hunting. The brunette went out and came back with a deer. Everyone asked how she got it so she said, I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and boom I got a deer. Then the redhead went out and came back with an elephant. Everyone asked how she got it so she said, I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and boom I got an elephant. So the blonde saw what was going on and left. When she came back she looked pretty beat up. Everyone asked what happened and she said, I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and boom I got hit by a train.

I went to the super market the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him an idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

Then I got really angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. But I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

lol thats the funnyest one yep on the meter you would got 2,0000/10
is it at possible ?

Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St. Peter”. Jason was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away”.
St Peter replied “Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” Jason was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
“This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad” replies Jason, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”. “You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”. “Never” replies Jason. “Well just relax and let it happen”. And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever happened to him… ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous SMACK on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting “Jason, wake up you drunken bastard, you’re *****ing the bed!”

swim i don't know wat i'll do without u now that Mr. A's gone Funny-O-Meter: 10/10

I NEED JOKES!!!!!!!!!

Wats the simalirities between ur mum snoring, and coffee, they both keep u up at night

yep, couldn't agree more Funny-O-Meter: 6/10

theres a tower that when u jump of of it u can make a wish so 3 men go there
1st men jumps out says i wish i was a hawk he turns into a hawk
2nd men jumps out and say i wish i was an elephant so he turns into a elephant
the last one goes running he trips and says o s**t and then he turns into a piece of s**t.

poor guy good joke Funny-O-Meter: 7/10

3 men are on top of the empire state building, one says, hey look if u jump off u can fly, yea right said the otheres, alroight i will show u, he jumps and he starts flying through the air, wen he lands he said, go for it, so he jumps off but falls straight 2 the ground, the 3rd man says, superman ur an are.shole wen ur piss.ed

been before Funny-O-Meter: 6/10

jokes plz

why os this forum failing :(

tell me about it

My yo mama joke: Yo mamma's so old, she farts dust.

I HAVE A JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Funny-O-Meter: 7/10

Your mamas so fat she saw her phone number on the scale. ;)

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

awesome yo mamma jokes Funny-O-Meter: 8/10

Thank you. :D

lol

Yo Mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone. :lol:

nice yo mamma joke Funny-O-Meter: 7/10

I HAVE THE REQIREMENTS TO BE DECLARED A JOKE GOD:
1. have at least 15 jokes on the forum
2. if u have a really funny joke that beats most others u are declared a joke god
3. u must be on my friends list
4. u must be lvl 4 or over
5. the jokes u have must be over 5 on te Funny-O-Meter/Funny Rating

ur jokes must not be old jokes like: how did the chicken cross the road or doctor doctor jokes
and must not be boring

Yo mama so stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...
Yo mama so stupid she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken
Yo mama so stupid she makes Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner
Yo mama so fat when she steps on the Weight Scale it says...'929838391838127477567658466....to be continued'...
Hope these are funny....

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.

The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."

"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."

"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.

About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"

"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."
Meh. not the best

Blonde goes to a pizza parlour, man asks, 6 or 12 pieces, she says, 6 plz, il never eat 12

Crazy: ur yo mamma jokes are awesome keep
em coming and as for the blonde joke Funny-O-Meter: 9/10

Mr.A: good joke man glad to see ur still posting jokes

Thanks. I try my best. :I

Oh about my yo mama joke with the scale...How can she stand on it? She would brake it!! lol :D

yea dude wats r ratings, oh and i think i shouldnt be a joke god, more like a joke Overlord