*Shooting arrows at orcs, they fall in their hundreds*

*Jumps down from the fort/whatever it is, into the crowd of orcs, slashing my sword faster than eyes can see. A pile of dead bodies begans to pile at my feet.*

*Ancient Dragons rain down fire, killing hundreds.*

FUS RO DAH!

*Jumps down and brings out mace*

Awww... I expected a cudgel...

It's my back-up... An orc's skull is too thick to smash in one blow from a cudgel... *Swings mace*

Stop says the red light, Go says the green. Wait, says the yellow light twinkling in between.

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT
WITH IT'S EYE OF COAL
SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENCE PLATE
AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL.

*Smashing orcs*

Mosta, cast a spell already, damn it! *Snipes 5 orcs with bow.*

Meh, FUS RO DAH *All the orcs are thrown off their feet leaving them vunrable*

*Cuts out their stomachs*

*Smashing more orcs*

*Steals their souls with magical orbs of darkness.*

*Orcs keep coming in their thousands, despite our efforts. I pull out my explosive flail and smash it in an orcs face, blowing its skull apart*

*I gain a couple of scrapes, but push on.*

*Swinging flail like a madman*

*Creates a Justin Bieber hologram, causing many of the male orcs to commit suicide*

*More and more orcs pouring down towards us* They may take our freedom!!! BUT THEY MAY NEVER TAKE OUR FLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Rallies warriors and charges orcs*

I am bored so I'm just going to be the minstral.
*goes through my minstral cycle*

Screw it. *Teleports to battlements* READY THE MANGONELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see...they expect resistance from us. The problem is we're a little different. What if...we try not attacking? You see...I have a plan.

No, you just don't want to fight. *Cuts out several tongues.*

*Mangonels spray the orcs with rocks, killings hundreds* AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh fine. We'll do it your way!

*raises my hand up high into the air as the land slowly begins to turn to desert* You wanna know what happens now that we're in a middle of the desert? Hint: Don't move around too much.

*rumbling can be heard in the earth below the army*

Make them fall into a cavern below a naturally generated floating sand chunk? That happens to me when the Creepers blow up. :P

Sandstorm?

*Watching*

Sand something all right.

*out from the ground comes a massive Sandworm. The worm almost flys through the air before going back and burrowing into the ground again. Its massive jaws opened wide as it seems to skim the surface for anything making a move*

Dune FTW.

$hit! *Jumps out of the way.*

Hehehe.

THE SPICE MUST FLOW!

*Thresher Maw rises from the sand to fight the orcs*

*Orcs still coming*

Orcs: LOK'TAR OGAR!(Victory or Death!)
Me: *Garroting orc magi.

*Jumps down and pulls out mace*

*takes out my kiteshield and runs in to the middle of a mass or orcs with sword drawn* BLAAAAAAH

*The orcs try to hit me, but I block every hit in Kung Fu Master style while watching PewDiePie play Amnesia.*

*smirks and then jumps over the castle walls onto the sandworm. I seem to pull out maker hooks out of nowhere and use it to control the worm as it goes barreling through enemies*

MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY TO STOP THEM AT THE SOURCE! MAYBE ONE OR TWO OF US SHOULD SCOUT AHEAD!

BRILLIANT PLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Whistles and my huge, black dragon comes down. I jump on its back and follow Dave*

NOW OF COURSE YOU KNOW I MAY NOT TO TAKE SOME TIME TO DISMOUNT AND FIND A NEW RIDE! I BLAME THEIR DEADLY ALLERGY TO WATER!

*steering the sandworm in the direction of where the orcs are coming from*

*Runs on top of the heads of the orcs, to get ahead. Slashes a couple who try to jump up.*

*Flying round Dave, shooting at random at the orcs*

*Arms nuke in clearing at centre of battlefield*

*Runs the hell away.*

*Summons the Servant Brutes and Servant Grunts.*
Servant Grunt


Servant Brute.

I miss my hill

*Gatherers(Servant Grunts and Butes)slaughter all Orcs, because they have the power to render all weapons useless.* HA! YOUR ONLY SALVATION IS MR. CHAIR AND STEPHANO!!!!

*Orcs still pour over the mountains, and simply trample the Amnesia things, while Dave and I try to find the source*